I am not a religious person in the least. Organized religion is not how I practice communication with MY God/Source/Higher Power. Etc. I speak to my God ALL the time. I feel blessed in everything I have, everything I do and everything that has happened in my life. Every morning when I get into my car I look up and thank god that I can drive.
There was a time not long ago that it didn’t appear that driving was going to be in my future. For various medical reasons, I wasn’t able to get my driver’s license until I was about thirty. I still cannot drive on the highway.
I sincerely believe there are aspects to our lives that are pre-ordained (as in predestination.) and no matter what we do we cannot change some of these plans God has for us. There have been times when I’ve tried to change certain arrangements in my life. However, no matter what I did to try and alter these arrangements, things never worked out. For example, during an extremely low point in my life in the late 1980’s and early 1990’s I contemplated moving to New York with my Dad and his wife, I even talked to him about it, but that was around the time they were planning on leaving New York themselves. So the plans never came to fruition. Now as I look back at that experience, I believe it was God’s way of saying:
“And you thought you were leaving Madison? I don’t think so!”
A work related experience:
In the late 1980’s I hooked up with Easter Seals Rehab Center in New Haven in an attempt to help me find fulfilling employment. When I began my association with the organization I felt exhilarated, I thought I finally found a place that would be my support. Shortly after I started my partnership I realized it was the wrong fit, but I continued working with them long past the time I should have. The organization was placing in jobs well below my ability and I even though I understood this I continued to work with them. I understand now that I went through that phase in my life to get to where I am now. I see a correlation to The Shawshank Redemption in this story.
Sometimes you have to walk through a lot of shit to come out the other side. I attempted to find gainful employment with a service I thought was there to help me. As it turned out none of their plans for me worked out. Just as an example of some of the jobs they were placing me in, one was a dishwasher in a nursing home. The one that convinced me they were completely in left field and the one that prompted me to sever ties with them was (Okay, get ready to choke on your own laughter) as an elevator operator. When I heard that I nearly choked on my laughter. It wasn’t much later that I registered for classes at Southern CT State University.
God had a plan for me to be involved with books at an early age. That was clear to me, but it wasn’t so clear to my family. Once I enrolled at Southern in the early 1990’s I had a clear vision that I’d be hired at the Scranton Library. I knew it, like I knew how to breath. I still recall my Mom’s words after I enrolled:
What are you going to do with a library science degree? How do you know you’ll even get hired at the library? I understand those questions came from her fear. I looked her in the eye and said: The library will hire me.” I knew it. And you know what? They hired me. My God was slowly pointing me in the right direction. It was pre-ordained that I’d be working in Madison, living in Madison and I never feared that it wouldn’t happen.
Another example I have of God interfering in my plans:
Before we moved to Madison, from Branford in 1978 we had looked at another house in Branford. I BELIEVE we were about to make an offer, when we looked at the house on Warpas Road. Obviously we took the house in Madison and it wasn’t until much later when I started my secondary education at Southern that I had another A-Ha Moment. My English professor at Southern lived two houses down from me on Warpas Road. Seeing as I didn’t drive on the highway, I was able to coordinate my schedule with hers so I could ride in and MOST days ride home with her. Had I lived in Branford that would never have happened.
Look at where I live now:
My Aunt owned the condo where I live before I moved in. Again another example of God stepping in and taking care of me. I believe my getting this condo was pre-ordained. I believe my Mom meeting John, my step dad was pre-ordained. If that hadn’t happened, I wouldn’t be living here in Madison, within walking distance to work, since it was HIS aunt that owned the condo. As I look back on all the issues I had growing with my step dad, all the not so wonderful moments, I can now honestly say that that time period was well worth going through to get to where I am now. There are certain things that happen in our lives that simply can not be altered and even if we try to change them, God will look down on us, smile and shake his finger at us and say:
“I don’t think so!”
That’s what makes me so convinced that there is a power greater then ourselves guiding our lives. Oh sure, we have the ability to change certain aspects of our lives. I’m not saying we don’t. But if there is something major we’re trying to do, such as a move out of the town or state we live in or looking for a long term relationship and if something always seems to prevent that change from taking place, don’t despair and don’t get angry because what I’m saying is that perhaps it is God shaking his finger at us. He has other better plans for us. Have you seen this at work in your lives?
That’s what makes me so spiritual, just knowing that MY God is in my life and he’s guiding me along the path of my life. I am convinced that God is with me now and always. Because I believe in the miraculous in every day routines, it is easy for me to understand that it is God working in my life. Unless you’re steeped in the faithful, you will not see this to be the case and you’ll go through life oblivious to the power of God. For me that’s sad.
I can’t live a faithless life. My God is too important to me and I carry on a conversation with him/her/it whatever all the time. At night when I go to bed, I say my nightly prayers, giving thanks and blessings to all of my friends and family. In the morning when I wake up I give thanks for a restful night and ask to have a grateful day. Throughout the day I carry on a conversation. I feel truly blessed to have this faith and it has carried me through some very dark hours. I always look for the light and I believe it is because I have this faith that I have been able to persevere when an obstacle is placed in my path.
So being spiritual to me is:
1. Knowing that God is in my life and is guiding me through the good times and the not so good times.
2. Knowing when something I want to do just is not happening no matter how many ways I try to make it happen, it’s God shaking his finger at me saying:
Not this path, but just wait, I have something better for you down another path that has not been cleared yet.
3. Knowing, putting into practice and living daily my mantra:
There are are no coincidences
There are no accidents
There is only God!
I hope some of what I’ve said here helps everyone who is currently struggling with certain aspects of their lives. Just know that God is in everyone’s lives and is guiding them along their own path. If something you’re trying to change isn’t, think for a moment that maybe what you’re trying to change is a big alteration in the fabric of your life and God has already pre-ordained something else, something better. I understand when you’re in a situation that you desperately want to get out of and everything you’ve tried is not working, just think that maybe the reason your plans are not working is because this certain thing you’re struggling to change can’t be done the way you’re attempting to change it. Don’t push back!
“Row, row, row your boat gently DOWN the stream.”
Be Happy! Be Well! Be Positive!
Blessings to you.