Friendship vs. Romance

A friend recently celebrated a birthday and it dawned on me that we’ve known each other for almost half our lives. She’s one of my longest tenured friends. After I sent her a birthday wish she responded back and said this:
However unlucky I’ve been in love, I’ve had it made up for in the friends I have.
FriendVLove

Some of us are better suited to friendship rather than romance.  I can’t necessarily speak for my friend but I believe I’m one of those who is better suited to friendship.

 

One of the things we share in common is our track record in romantic partnerships. We’ve both been burned a few times.  But my friendship with the opposite sex has ALWAYS been golden.  You’d think after watching my romantic relationships implode and my platonic relationships prosper that I would have realized sooner that I’m better suited to be the “friend.”  The important thing is not how long it took, the important thing is that I realize now.  As I’ve always maintained at Wisdom and Life, it doesn’t matter how long it takes.  It only matters that we get there.  And we ALL eventually find our place.  Sometimes it takes longer for some.

 

Being the “friend” can be fraught with challenges as you go through your life if you REALLY aren’t convinced it’s better.  Watching from the sidelines as your companion dates can be distressing until you realize that as the friend you will be the constant.

 

Romantic partnerships can end.
Lovers will leave.
Marriages may break up.

 

Friendships stand the test of time.

 

One of the things that others may see as weird, odd, strange in my friendships is the fact that the bulk of my friends have ALWAYS been female.  That has only increased as I’ve moved through this, my latest incarnation.  I  feel more at ease in the company of women, always have.  I think it’s because I’m not your so called “typical male.”

 

I don’t drink.
I don’t smoke.
I don’t party.

 

Taking another tack, If you consider my worldview, my belief in Karma and Reincarnation, if you believe that Karma plays a role in our lives as I do, you may reach one of the same conclusions as I have:
That my karma has caught up with me in this life and is balancing the scales from a previous life.  

 

As I said in Karma and Dead Again:
Sometimes I wonder if in a previous life I was a philanderer, and the fact that I have so many women who are my friends is because women see me as a non threat in this lifetime. The karmic aspect being that I can’t find that long term relationship because I’m paying my debt in this lifetime for a previous lifetime’s philandering.

 

Finally coming to this realization and understanding that I don’t necessarily NEED a romantic partner to make me whole has lightened my soul and I no longer chase that elusive ghost.  I’m happy with the friends I have now and it seems that I’ve cheated the rule from When Harry Met Sally that says:
Men and women can’t be just friends..

 

My best friend is female and I don’t think I’d want anything else. We are bonded in a way few others are.  I have to pinch myself sometimes because it still surprises me to say my best friend is female.  How often does that happen?  Not only how often does it happen, how frequently does that relationship last?

 

I must also agree with my birthday friend when she says:
However unlucky I’ve been in love, I’ve had it made up for in the friends I have.

 

I have a whole host of close friends, both male and female and my friends have more than made up for my lack of a romantic partner.  My life is full of blessings and there is nothing unlucky about any aspect of my life.  Are there things I’d like to change?  I can’t even say that.  Growing up I dreamed of changing things but as I grew into the paradigm I’m now in I realized that ANY small change I made to my life would send it in a completely different trajectory.  My life would be so different from what it is now to be unrecognizable.  Much like the Butterfly Effect.

 

My life is golden.
My friendships are golden.  And I wouldn’t change a thing about either.  My friendships made me who I am.  The fact that I have amazing friendships with women is who I am.  It’s part of my Spiritual DNA and I wouldn’t change that about myself either.  I’m happy to have finally realized in this incarnation that I can be happy with a small group of close friends and as I said earlier that I don’t need a romantic partner to center me.  My friends center me and that’s really all I need.

 

Harry was wrong!
Men and women CAN be friends.  I’ve proven it.

 

Be Happy!  Be Well!  Be Positive!
Blessings to you.

Chris

 

Once you realize that life is eternal,
That our souls our eternal,
That we return to light and physical over and over;

 

We then lose all our distress
We then lose all our fear of dying.  For there truly is no end.

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