Fiction is Now My Main Squeeze

Last month on July 29, I wrote Fiction is My MistressI have now decided that for the time being, until my new project is complete, I have to put CJPPhotoNews and Wisdom and Life into hibernation.  Up until last November, I didn’t think I would return to writing fiction again.  Now though, I have found that fiction is once again my main squeeze.  Any writing that I do SHOULD be for my next project.  When I’m writing for my two blogs I’m not spending the time I should be spending writing my short stories.

 

With that in mind, I’m temporarily stopping my two blogs.

Image from:
Pixabay

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Be Happy!  Be Well! Be Positive!
Blessings to you.

Chris

Once you realize that life is eternal,
That our souls our eternal,
That we return to light and physical over and over;
We then lose all our distress
We then lose all our fear of dying.  For there truly is no end.

Snippets From Random Acts

This column contains Amazon Affiliate Links!

 

As with last week’s column, Fiction is my Mistress, I’m again sharing snippets from short stories I’ve written in the past and am continuing to write as you read today’s column.

 

This week I’m sharing snippets from my short story collection:
Random Acts: Stories of Redemption


This snippet is from my story called Katie’s Castle:
His mouth dropped open.  “You don’t know,” he said.  “Didn’t Mommy ever tell you?”

“Tell me what?”  Though now she had a thread she needed to hear the whole story in order to complete the yarn.

“I understand why she wouldn’t burden you when you were young, but…”  He paused here and sighed “…well I guess it was easier to bury the truth after so long.  I couldn’t live with my actions, so early one morning before your mom was awake, I remember it as two-fifteen exactly.  You were away for the week visiting a friend, and I went downstairs and walked into the garage. I started the car. I never woke up.”

“But, wait a minute,” she said, now scratching her head.  “Mommy said you’d been in a car accident.” Now she frowned.

He nodded.  “Well, that sort of makes sense.  There’s a grain of truth in the story and I guess it was enough to satisfy her.  I’m sorry, Katie. I wouldn’t have said anything. I thought she would have told you by now.”  He grew quiet again and after another few minutes, Tom could no longer deal with the silence that hung between them.  “I’ve accepted my fate, Katie. I only came back here now because I see how much you’re still hurting. It really is unhealthy to carry all that anger around with you.  It’s amazing what death can do for you. You’re able to see things much clearer. I can see right into your soul, Kate. It’s dark in there and it shouldn’t be. You’re still young.  There’s so much for you to be happy about. Stan loves you but he knows you won’t let him in because of me.”

She was shaking her head now, and she almost laughed out loud.  “Stanley Weller?” she said now looking away. “C’mon.”

“Hell, he’d probably kill me if I wasn’t dead.  But you need to know this and God knows he wouldn’t tell you.  Think about it, Kate. Why do you think he bought you that gallery?”

 

Two snippets from Random Acts:

1. Frank took a seat in the den, admiring the decor, wishing he could afford even half the things this lady seemed capable of acquiring.

“So,” she said, walking to the bathroom, “how was work?  Did you miss me?”

Frank didn’t smile.  “That’s an odd thing to say.  You seem to have so many men coming and going I didn’t think you would notice when I’m gone.”

She peered out and said, “Hey, that’s not fair!  We never talked about an exclusive relationship.”  In her heart, that’s what she wanted though. But could she trust him?  In every 

other circumstance, she’d been hurt.  She swore it would never happen again, but there was a lot to lose by making a commitment to one man.  “I’ll be right out.

 

2.  “C’mon, Ellen.  You were gonna say something before.  We came here tonight because you wanted to talk.”

“Oh.”  She paused.  This was it. Would she tell him now and lose him?  She tried to think. There was an awkward moment when neither of them spoke.  But she finally said, “My family? You want to know about them?”

He nodded.  “It’s a start.”

“My parents were killed when I was just five, Frank.  I went to live with an aunt shortly after. When I turned twenty_one I left.  You see,” she said, “my parents left me a very large estate. I couldn’t take advantage of it until I turned twenty one.”

“Oh my, God,” he said, running his fingers through his hair.  

“It was a long time ago.  It doesn’t bother me telling you.  In fact, it’s nice to know that someone cares.  So I don’t really need to work as a cocktail waitress, but if I didn’t have this job at the nightclub, well I’d just die.”

And one from Ceremonies:
He was pouring his coffee when the phone rang.  Walter picked up the receiver and heard Mike Farlowe, the Scout master.  The mug crashed to the floor, sending shards of plaster around the kitchen upon hearing the scout master’s plea.

“Did you hear me, Walter?”  Mike was saying. “We know. Maybe you’d like you to come downtown, get this thing straightened out.”

Walter knew the day was coming.  Some nights he’d go to bed praying it would come the next morning, but now that it had finally arrived, he rebelled against it, choosing to ignore the Scout master’s plea.  He stood in the middle of his kitchen, the broken mug lying on the floor a symbol of what would surely happen to his life if he went downtown. He spun around and placed the phone back in its cradle and continued fixing his breakfast.

A moment later, the phone rang again.  Walter picked it up and said, “Hello?”
“Walter!”  the shrill echo said.  “All we want is to talk.”
“Fine,” he said.  “We can talk here.”
“You’re not making this easy, Walter.”

 

For those interested in reading the entire collection, the book is available on Amazon:
Random Acts: Stories of Redemption

 

Next week, more from my NEW collection I’m currently writing.

Be Happy!  Be Well! Be Positive!
Blessings to you.

Chris

Once you realize that life is eternal,
That our souls our eternal,
That we return to light and physical over and over;
We then lose all our distress
We then lose all our fear of dying.  For there truly is no end.

 

 

 

Fiction Is My Mistress

I’m still writing my Block Island stories and I’ll share some fragments from the new story I’m working on at the moment.

Image from:
Pixabay

From Arrivals and Departures:
In no particular order, here are four fragments 

1.     Sean strolled away then.  He walked to the far end of the property and sat near the boulder that marked where the lighthouse resided before it was moved. Closing his eyes and resting his head against the rock, he smiled again. Block Island seemed to always create a sense of peace and joy in him. There was nowhere else he felt so relaxed. If he wasn’t careful, he’d be asleep in a matter of minutes.  

In this time between, he heard a woman’s voice whisper in his head, “believe what you’re seeing.”

He jerked his eyes open. “Kate?”  He leapt to his feet. Brushing himself off, he looked around and saw several other people staring back at him.  “I’m alright,” he said, smiling. “Must have dozed off for a moment.” As he walked away, he thought again about Kate’s visit after she passed. And now here on Block, there have been unexplained events.

 

2.  Left to his own thoughts once more, Sean reflected on the first time he saw Kate. It was actually his brother, James, who introduced them. They were sitting in Willoughbys, a local coffee shop when Kate walked in. To this day, he continued to wonder whether it was a set up. Both James and Kate denied it. What did it matter, really. They wound up falling for each other and spent as much time together as possible, starting with meeting at Willoughbys every morning before each headed to work. The other regulars began calling them Kasean, because they were together so often, first behind their back.  

Then one morning they strolled in, holding hands and Bill, one of Willoughbys frequent guests turned and said, “Uhhhhh.  Look it’s Kasean.” The others in the coffee shop waited for a reaction. When the only thing that happened was a slight giggle from Kate, everything went back to the status quo. 

Kate smiled as she took a seat next to Bill. “At least you’re using my name first, Billy Boy.”  She brushed his hair with her hand. Kate was demonstrative that way with everyone. It was one of the reasons she became so accepted at the morning coffee clutch.  Everyone loved her. But there was only one she wanted to spend any time with. She watched Sean, never taking her eyes off of him as he walked back to the table with her coffee. Half the time, Sean was unaware of how deeply Kate watched him. They were truly one soul separated at birth.

 

3. He made plans for this trip to Block Island a year ago, soon after that flight over the island; when he and Kate started looking for summer homes. From the time Sean turned twelve, he traveled here, first with his family, then once he turned eighteen he started coming on his own. Every chance he could. He fell in love with the island from the first time his feet touched the ground, much the same way he fell for Kate four years earlier. This was now a solo vacation having lost Kate six months ago. 

Cancer is such a horrible disease. In some cases it sneaks up on you and slowly saps your life away. In other cases it hits you hard and quick like a fastball hit for a homerun over Fenway Park. That’s what happened to Kate. One morning she woke up with a headache that wouldn’t go away. All that day and into the following day the pain was unrelenting. She finally went to her doctor. That’s when things went sideways. Next thing she knows she’s being evaluated at Smilow in New Haven, Connecticut.  Three weeks later she’s undergoing her first treatment. 

Sean stayed with her the entire time, sleeping in the hospital bed that sat between them. He made sure to have a private room for them.  As the cancer continued it’s ugly march through her life, Kate kept up her resilience as best she could. Some days you wouldn’t know she was sick. Others were devastating. The day after her treatments were always horrible. Kate would do her best to hide it. Having been with her for so long now however, Sean could see through her masquerade. He’d hold her as she heaved up the medicine she was given, cleaning her up after and carrying her back to the bed.

“You don’t have to stay with me, Sean,” Kate said each time he carried her to bed. “You need to realize I’m not getting any better. It’s time for you to understand that.”

“All the more reason to stay.”  Sean sat on the edge of her bed and held her hand. “I’m not going anywhere,” he said wiping tears from his eyes. 

It went on like that for a month.  But then Kate took a turn. The treatments stopped working and within a week after she slipped into the place between. Kate’s last words before she passed were, “Promise me you’ll take our trip.”

4. Now, two years later, because of the resources he was able to gather, Sean could pursue something he always dreamed of. His father flew for the military and Sean loved the thought of flying himself. After taking flight lessons for over a year, Sean finally lived his dream and together with James he bought a Cessna 172 Skyhawk. 

Flying, it turned out was in his genes. He took to it like breathing. Sean so respected his Dad for flying for the military,. It was one thing he could never see himself doing however. He loved his father but he couldn’t follow in his footsteps.  Sean was a free spirit. He didn’t do well with regiment. It might seem odd since he owned a gaming company. However this was something he wanted. Doing something you love always makes doing it seem less like work. 

Sean kept his plane at an airport in Chester, Connecticut. There was nothing better for him then climbing in his plane and taking off anywhere he wanted. Sometimes as he flew, he still pinched himself. 

The first time he brought his girlfriend, Kate up, he watched her face light up. “Can we fly over Block Island?”

He looked over at her and laughed out loud. “I knew I loved you for a reason,” and he banked left. “When I’m up here I feel untouchable.  You know my Dad flew the P3 Orion for years. Then he joined the Air Force and flew the C-5 Galaxy. He inspired me to learn to fly myself.”

More to come next week from another story.

 

Be Happy!  Be Well! Be Positive!
Blessings to you.

Chris

Once you realize that life is eternal,
That our souls our eternal,
That we return to light and physical over and over;
We then lose all our distress
We then lose all our fear of dying.  For there truly is no end.

 

 

 

 

Revisiting The Past

Something a bit different at Wisdom and Life today, and a companion piece to last week’s A Look Back.  We’re traveling back to the beginning of this ride we’ve been on for almost ten years. It’s hard to believe that next May at this time Wisdom and Life will turn ten years old.

 

Image from:
Pixabay

I’ve written many columns over that period. And I hope to continue writing for another ten years. I understand some of my recent readers found me through my adventuring through my NDE. You may have thought that was the entire subject of this site. If you’ve returned at all or explored you’ll see that I write on many topics. I tie everything together in spirituality though. That’s the underlying theme of Wisdom and Life. That and my attempt to show that if you give everything over to spirit and let go of all animosity, you will be able to live a more joyful life.

 

As I’ve written here countless times before, the original intent of Wisdom and Life to concentrate on Law of Attraction (LoA) morphed into a more spiritually themed site about four months after I started. I realized once I understood what happened, that Law of Attraction is just another color of the spiritual rainbow. In other words LoA is another vehicle to realizing faith and spirituality without the dogma attached. For some of us who have strayed from all things religious, regardless of whether they are tied to any specific organized religion or not, simply hearing about spirituality can turn some off.

 

I am deeply spiritual and have always carried a huge amount of faith. I believe that’s why I unconsciously changed the direction of Wisdom and Life. Law of Attraction still plays a role here.  However if you take some time explore, you’ll find I write on a plethora of topics. I will always return to the two main topics when it comes to writing for Wisdom and Life though:
Faith and Spirituality
and
Law of Attraction

 

Be Happy!  Be Well! Be Positive!
Blessings to you.

Chris

 

Once you realize that life is eternal,
That our souls our eternal,
That we return to light and physical over and over;
We then lose all our distress
We then lose all our fear of dying.  For there truly is no end.

 

A Look Back

Nine years ago, I started writing Wisdom and Life.  So hard to believe it’s been nine years since this blog has existed.  

Image from:
Pexels.com

Thought it would be fun to read my initial post from May 30, 2010:
Starting another blog today. After hearing some of my story a few weeks ago, my friend, Mary thought others might benefit from some of my wisdom. (Ha-ha) We’ll see how this goes.

This will be a place to share my thoughts on life and why I think we’re here. Feel free to comment on my posts. I’d like to get as many perspectives as possible here. Will try and post something between twice a week to daily. We’ll see how it goes.

To start with:

Let me introduce myself. For those of you who don’t know me from my photography blog, I’m a photographer who lives in Madison, Connecticut who just happens to have changed his perspective on life a couple years ago. What happened, you may ask?

The Secret is what happened. I’ve moved on from that initial introduction. One way I describe The Secret is think of it as AOL in the early days of the Internet. America Online was the introduction to many to the online world. Once you became familiar with the Internet through AOL some graduated to direct Internet. So think of The Secret in the same manner. It is simply a bridge to move forward to greater wisdom.

Follow me and we will see where this life brings us!

We’ll see you again soon!

Chris

 

Christmas Crossroads

This will be my last column this year.
I’m going on my yearly holiday hiatus.
Will be back the first week in February.

However, unlike previous hiatuses 
I will continue writing. Just not my two blogs. 
I’m working on short stories again.

My friend and blogger, Jean Wise is also a published author. Her latest book available on Amazon is:

Christmas Crossroads

This a small volume with huge concepts. Just because the concepts our large, it doesn’t mean that the book is challenging to understand. On the contrary, Jean writes in a manner that her thoughts come across easily.

In the book, Jean uses Biblical quotes to understand the implications of the Christmas season and reflects on each quote.  I like that style of writing, for it helps us understand how someone thinks about a certain topic. I write my own spiritual blog in much the same way.

One of the features about this collection that I like is that at the end of each reflection Jean writes what’s called a:
Roadside Billboard
Roadside Pursuit

and
Roadside Rest Stop

In each of these, she gives us advice on how to handle the challenges of not just the Christmas season but of life in general.

The crossroads part of the title references where we are at a particular time in our lives and how we can deal with with the challenges that this season brings.

As I read the book, I realized how much we share in common. I resonated deeply with each reflection. So many of Jean’s reflections connect to my own belief system. And because of that I wanted to share this collection with my readers. I think many of my followers will connect with this collection as well.

This is a book that I found personally useful. Christmas Crossroads has helped me see that we can choose how we spend our time. Whenever we come to a crossroad in our own lives we can choose which road we take. Whatever we decide, as long as we follow our true spiritual light, we can’t make a wrong choice.  Follow God’s path and we will be blessed.

I recommend this book to anyone attempting to calm themselves during this busy holiday season. I believe it will bring you back to center, bring you back to the present moment which is where we should ALWAYS be. As I’m done of saying:

Nothing challenging can happen in the present moment. It’s only when we start to forecast, it’s only when we look to the future wondering where we will be, wondering what will happen that we panic.

Stay in the present moment. That’s where we are safe.

Reading Christmas Crossroads helped me to understand this again and after reading it, I look forward to reading her previous titles available here:
Jean Wise on Amazon

Be Happy!  Be Well! Be Positive!
Blessings to you.

Chris

Once you realize that life is eternal,
That our souls our eternal,
That we return to light and physical over and over;
We then lose all our distress
We then lose all our fear of dying.  For there truly is no end.

Publication Dreams

Being creative, being a writer is who I’ve always been.  As long as I COULD write, I’ve been writing. Novels, novellas, short stories.  I have a plethora of them, In the early to mid 1990s I began to see some success, having been been published sporadically in the small press.  Once you get a taste of that success it spurs you focus is on reaching for greater goals.

 

One of the questions that people ask is
Would you do what you’re doing if you didn’t reap abundance from it?

 

I’ve been writing for well over forty years.  So I guess the answer to that question is yes.  Abundance doesn’t always have to be financial however.  But I HAVE been writing without financial abundance for sometime now.  That’s all about to change. After years of doing my best to find a greater market for the writing I do, I have finally captured my leprechaun.  In November 2018, I will see two books get published simultaneously.

Fahrenheit Books, a Guilford Connecticut publisher is taking on my books.  One, a short story collection of dark fantasy is called:
Random Acts: Stories of Redemption

Click the above title to view it on Amazon.
Cover design by Chris Dobbins

 

This book is a collection of short stories I wrote in the late 1980s to mid 1990s.  The other book is essays on death and dying and my impression about what happens to us after we pass.  That book is titled:

 

 

 

 

 

Taking Off A Coat: Ruminations On The Infinite Soul

Click the above title to view it on Amazon.
Cover design by Chris Dobbins

 

To purchase each book, simply click the title link for each book.

This was originally scheduled to happen last year but as with all tentative publication dates it was delayed.  I’m so excited for this to happen. It’s been a long time coming and a lifelong dream. Isn’t it every writer’s goal to be published?  If not, then maybe you should reconsider writing. Robert Heinlein said it best with his rules of writing:
Rule One: You Must Write. …

Rule Two: Finish What You Start. …
Rule Three: You Must Refrain From Rewriting, Except to Editorial Order. …
Rule Four: You Must Put Your Story on the Market. …
Rule Five: You Must Keep it on the Market until it has Sold. …
Rule Six: Start Working on Something Else.

One of the most important factors that lead to this is that I didn’t give up, that I didn’t let anyone stand in my way.  There have been people in my life who have dissuaded me. Telling me:
No!  You can’t do that.  Telling me no is probably the greatest motivator someone can give me.  It provides the EXACT opposite of the original intent.

 

Be Happy!  Be Well! Be Positive!
Blessings to you.

Chris

Once you realize that life is eternal,
That our souls our eternal,
That we return to light and physical over and over;
We then lose all our distress
We then lose all our fear of dying.  For there truly is no end.

 

Why Do You Write?

Uh oh!

Another column about writing?  Well it is part of who I am. Of all the questions I get the one that most fascinates me is:

Why do you write?

 

Image from:
Pixabay

 

That was an easier question to answer in my youth.  I wrote then to release stress. As with all with all school age students, I experienced my fair share of stress, from anxiety at school, to stress at home, to fitting in.

 

My personal writing schedule during my time living at home became extremely important to me and I made sure I gave myself time to write every night.  I usually worked best from seven to ten, typically after I finished any homework I had for the evening. There were times during the evenings I wrote, as I’ve mentioned here previously, that I would spend the entire three or four hour time period writing something and not even be aware that I wrote ANYTHING at ALL.  Being in the flow is an amazing experience, and I hope everyone can feel that at some point in their lives.

Everyone needs to release their stress, otherwise it will eat you from the inside out.  Writing helped me deal with life.  Some people turn to destructive behavior.  I turned CONstructive. It’s why my fiction turned dark:
Haunted Houses.
Vampires, werewolves, ghosts.

 

But even within that darkness, there turned a positive outcome.  I may have been dealing with emotional garbage, but I also understood that life would pivot, that it would get better.  All of my dark fiction had dark elements but EVERY ONE of my stories turned positive at their resolution. Which is how my life turned.  So even during my youth, I knew that even though life wasn’t easy at the time, I only had to hang on. In my youth, writing became my crutch.  I could feel myself circling the drain when I didn’t spend time writing. I was more volatile, more distressed. Writing kept me balanced. Another surprising aspect to my writing was that I could NEVER write from a male’s point of view.  

 

All of my fiction uses female protagonists.  I gave sincere efforts to use a male voice on many occasions, but always failed.  Probably the same reason I have more female friends.  So many times I started a short story using a male’s voice.  I’d get through a page or two and realize that I was simply going through the motions. I wasn’t enjoying the task.  I’d stop for a time and return later and try again. It just wasn’t working. So I’d scrap the couple of pages and start again using the female voice I became comfortable with.

 

My writing has changed from the time I spent at it in my youth.
Now?
Well, it has transitioned to short bursts.  A page or two for the most part. Blogging has become the writing I do now.  I still NEED to write, but not for the same reasons I wrote in my youth. Writing still smooths my edges, still alleviates my stress levels.  I still understand when I’m not spending enough time tapping on the keyboard. But now I write for other reasons then simply de-stressing. I write because it’s who I am.

 

I’m a writer.  And as I’ve said here on multiple occasions:
A writer writes.

 

You may as well ask me:
Why do you breathe?

Writing IS Breathing

Since I’ve been writing for as long as I could write, with the exception of a ten year period from 2000 to 2010, it became as imperative for me to write as it is to breath.  During that ten year period I lost the itch to write and surprisingly, I didn’t even miss it.  When the gift was given back to me, I decided that I would do everything in my power to make sure I didn’t lose the desire again.

 

Having deadlines now also provides me an impetus.  Which is another reason blogging is a valuable tool for any new writer.  Having deadlines will surely impress upon any artist the need to produce.  A blogger should be producing and publishing on the same day every week, I’ve said it here before as well that your readers come to rely on your columns to be consistent.  So for all of these reasons and more, writing has given me the gift of my voice. Even when I have a challenge speaking on occasion, I have my writing to show my intelligence.

Since I started this column today, discussing questions writers get, I think the one question that EVERY writer bristles at is:
Where do you get your ideas?  Am I right?

 

I keep returning to Wisdom and Life’s previous entries here only because I’ve written so many columns that there seems to be a topic for each subject I discuss.  

 

Be Happy!  Be Well! Be Positive!
Blessings to you.

Chris

Once you realize that life is eternal,
That our souls our eternal,
That we return to light and physical over and over;
We then lose all our distress
We then lose all our fear of dying.  For there truly is no end.

Walking And Writing

Several writers I know are walkers.  
They walk to break writer’s block.
They walk to create inspiration

Walking Image from:
Pixabay
Writing Image from:
Pixabay

There is a host of data to suggest that walking helps writers break through any creative obstacles they may face

 

How does walking (away from something you’re working on) affect your writing?  When you’re away from your computer or your writing implement, you tend to let your mind wander and you’re not as focused on the task at hand:

Writing.

 

For myself, I’ve found that hiking in the woods contributes more to opening my muse than walking downtown.  I hear nothing in the woods or everything. What does that mean?

I don’t hear the hum of vehicles and people.
I don’t hear footsteps on concrete.
I don’t hear bikes whizzing by.

 

When I’m in the woods, there’s a different noise.
Birds chirping.
Tree frogs if you’re out at dusk.
Cicadas and crickets.

 

Walking/hiking clears your head.  It can be a source of meditation. And meditation can help when you’re working through a block.   Walking alone can sometimes be a benefit because you’re within your own thoughts, (thus providing the opportunity to meditate,) and you can walk at your own pace.  Solo walking also helps in the process of imagination, for it presents the opportunity of looking within for the challenge you’re facing, whether the challenge has to do with writing or something else.  Inspiration sometimes strikes when you’re alone and it’s better especially if you need to clear a logjam in your thought process. You certainly don’t want someone interfering by talking when all you want is silent introspection.  If you’re in this place, I would recommend avoiding the city/town and find a wooded trail to hike.

 

Walking with others, especially another writer can be helpful as well.  You can bounce ideas off each other and since you’re both of the same ilk, you can feed each other and hopefully, since you’re walking partners you understand when you need silence to consider a block and when you need to talk something through.  It even might be interesting to have a writer/walker group where you can set aside a specifically scheduled time to walk and discuss your writing needs. If this is something you’re considering, then you should set ground rules:
Treat the walk as you would any writer’s group
Anything discussed MUST be writing related.

 

So my advice:
If you’re struggling with working out a writing challenge, shut off your computer, shut off your brain and find a wooded trail.

 

Be Happy!  Be Well! Be Positive!
Blessings to you.

Chris

Once you realize that life is eternal,
That our souls our eternal,
That we return to light and physical over and over;
We then lose all our distress
We then lose all our fear of dying.  For there truly is no end.

 

 

 

 

 

A Helping Hand Can Help You

When you see someone living something awful, a rocket of desire for their resolution shoots out of you. And then, if you start focusing upon their resolution, you’ll start feeling better right away. And now, you’re part of the current that is part of the solution.

Abraham-Hicks
May 7, 2018

 

Have you known this to happen?  If you’re in a low place and someone you know is in a lower place, see if reaching out to them and offering an ear, offering a hug, offering advice if they ask for it, you just may find yourself feeling better.

 

Image from:
Pixabay

 

One of my friends has told me repeatedly that she’d love to help me when she can clearly see that I’m in distress. She knows me so well that even when I THINK I’m hiding it well, she sees through the shade.  

 

One of my INFP personality traits is that I have a difficult time with sharing my challenges, EVEN with my closest friends and family. I’d rather help others deal with their own issues. I’m doing my best to overcome that, but after years of living that trait, it doesn’t come easy to stop doing so.  

 

I understand that by sharing our own challenges we show our vulnerability and that can deepen a relationship.  If we stay closed off, if we don’t share what is troubling us, our friends may look elsewhere for people who will.  If we long for an intimate relationship with another person, then:
–We have to learn to trust them.  
–We have to remove our own walls.

 

–Once we begin to show our vulnerabilities,
–Once we open our emotional wounds to those we trust or are trying to build trust with, we will find that relationship we have been searching for.

 

It won’t happen overnight.  However if you want to build commitment, if you want others to feel good about themselves when they are in distress, then it is important to let your own walls down.  Let others inside. Let them help you, because as Abraham-Hicks states above:
By helping someone else, you are also helping yourself.

 

The concentration is off your own challenges and onto someone else.  Thus you’re not dwelling on your own situation. Here’s a writing example for those who write:
Have you ever faced a situation where you’re blocked?  By moving to another project, whether it’s another writing project or some other creative endeavor you do on the side, your thought gets refocused on the new project, freeing you up.  Quite often by removing yourself from the block, you get unblocked because you’re no longer focused on that.

 

So my advice to those of you in the INFP personality who have a challenging time letting your guard down with your closest friends and family, think about how this affects THEM.  They may need to focus on something else while dealing with their own issues. Help them by letting them help you.

 

Be Happy!  Be Well! Be Positive!
Blessings to you.

Chris

Once you realize that life is eternal,
That our souls our eternal,
That we return to light and physical over and over;
We then lose all our distress
We then lose all our fear of dying.  For there truly is no end.