What keeps us united in friendship?

Nick Eller over on Google+ contributed an article a couple weeks ago to Jesse Wojdylo a new G+ follower I’ve been interacting with.  Nick wrote the column Facebook is to Friend What Apple is to Genius for Jesse’s blog Wojdylo Finance.  After reading the article, I let it it percolate for a few days as I typically do before giving it any consideration.  Now that it has been a couple of weeks, I started thinking about what constitutes a friend, as that word has been watered down significantly since that other network has proliferated. Here’s my interpretation of what friends mean to me:

When I make a friend they are typically a friend for life.
Friends are there for each other.  Supporting each other whether life is a challenge or life is flowing.

If one friend is experiencing a challenge and is relying on the other to offer support and the one friend who needs guidance is looking for that support, we should be there as much as we can.  Because there is that chance that we will be going through a dark time in our own lives at some point.  If we can’t count on our friends to carry us, to listen to us, to offer suggestions, guidance, to be a compass then who can we count on?

Yes.  Our family can be there as well, but many times people in our family can’t see the forest for the trees.  We are too close to our families sometimes that we don’t offer support; we simply offer platitudes.

So what makes a true friend a friend for life?
For me it is simple:
Your friends won’t abandon you if you are going through a challenge.
Your friends will support you by giving their unvarnished opinion, not simply telling you what you want to hear, not giving out platitudes.

I’m sure we’ve all had the experience where a friend has gone through a particularly distressing time in their lives and have looked to us for support.  How can we turn away from that person?  I know I couldn’t.

I’ve seen it happen and heard about it happening and that experience has always saddened me, only because I would never dream of abandoning a friend in their time of need.  However, sometimes, as I wrote above simply because WE act in one way we expect everyone else to act accordingly.

It’s a trap that is extremely easy to fall into and I’m constantly working to alter that perception.

Sometimes your friend may be experiencing a challenge as well and they may feel overwhelmed by their own storm that they don’t feel as if they can devote time to you.  However that’s the time that you should be offering your support as it will help take the focus off your own storm and concentrate it on resolving your friend’s challenge.  By refocusing your challenge may seem small in relation to what someone else is going through.

You’ll be helping yourself as well as helping your friend.  Do you think you are strong enough to let someone else reach out to you when you yourself are dealing with distress?  You will feel so much better knowing that you helped another because as I said above, by looking for a resolution to your friend’s challenges you’ll take the focus off yourself; and sometimes that’s what is needed to find your own solution:
Stop thinking about your own stuff and many times a fix will appear.

Are you  Facebook friend?
Or
Are you a true friend?

The choice is yours to make.  Choose wisely.

Be Happy!  Be Well!  Be Positive!
Blessings to you.
–
Chris