You Can’t Go Back

Can a place really mold who you are?  I believe so.  So much of who I am is because of the time I spent in Lisbon, Connecticut.  I’ve been thinking recently about my time growing up in Lisbon, Connecticut on Graham Terrace, probably because my Bestest has been mentioning how fortunate I was to have had that experience.
ArrowQuestion

I’ve written here many times about growing up in Lisbon.  It was my safe place, my security zone.  My best friend lived around the corner, there was that ubiquitous fishing hole down the street, my maternal grandparents (especially, my grandfather) made a huge impact on my life.  My grandfather was the male role model I experienced growing up.  As I may have mentioned here previously, my grandfather taught me to fish.  He gave me me my photography obsession, buying me my first camera for my tenth birthday.  He was my confidant.  He taught me to respect people and be sensitive to others, putting others first.

 

The time I spent in Lisbon became so special that after I graduated from high school, I returned to attend college there for two years.  I didn’t have the same experience and I now understand why.  It’s because as I tell my Bestest all the time:
Life is about moving forward, not going back.  You can’t go back!

 

My grandfather was a sensitive soul, very emotional, very loving, quick to forgive, and extremely demonstrative.  I learned all of these traits from him.  You know that old saying:
Children learn what they live.

 

Because my grandfather was the primary male role model in my life, I naturally absorbed his personality.  Like him, I’m quick to forgive.  I’m extremely sensitive.  Sometimes I wonder if I’m too sensitive, if I take the emotional hurt I receive too deeply.  I know, however that it’s who I am and I’m comfortable with it.  I can’t change who I am and I wouldn’t want to.

–I CAN take the hurt I receive a little too deeply.
— I’m more aware of others and I feel their pain more than I feel my own.
–I’m more empathic than many of my friends.
–I have a greater feeling for what may happen in the future.

 

I’m very demonstrative, loving, quick to hug someone if they need it, quick to show my emotions.  Sometimes, maybe too quick to become emotional, sometimes maybe to my detriment.  However, as I said above, I can’t change that about myself.  Nor would I want to.

 

My Bestest has told me countless times how fortunate I am to have had my grandfather in my life.  She has said he did an amazing job helping me become the person I am.  She should know seeing as I spend so much time with her.  I wish sometimes now that I’m writing this column that she would have come into my life sooner so my maternal grandparents could have known her as I do.  I think they would become fast friends as I have done with her.  I’ve been so fortunate in my life to have had so many good people come into my experience:
My maternal grandparents.
My Aunt Bet, My Fairy Godmother.  

See now?  Aunt Bet would have been someone else I would dearly have loved for my Bestest to have met.  Because my Maternal Grandparents and my Aunt Bet played such significant roles in my life I would have loved for them to have met each other.  They each made such a huge impact on my life I’d love to see them all interact with each other.  I’d love to be a fly on the wall listening to their conversations.

 

My best friend, Joe in Lisbon while growing up.
My friends, Jason, Julie and Tim.
My Bestest now.

 

I miss my grandparents more now than I have in the past, only because I’ve been thinking more about them, because when I’m with my Bestest I can’t help but think about what it would be like if they had met.  Oh, the stories they could have told each other:

My grandparents regaling her with the distant past.
Her telling my grandparents how much they influenced me growing up.  I can almost close my eyes and hear the stories going back and forth.

 

However, I should be grateful (and I am) that I’ve been able to have so many good people in my life.  And I understand that people come and go into our lives for specific reasons:
My friend, Jason came along when my friend, Joe left.  A door closed (Joe) and a window opened (Jason.)

 

I see these things more clearly now that I’m in this paradigm.  I understand this isn’t possible but it is nice to fantasize about.  Do you have someone important in your own life that you wish you have met family who have since transitioned?

 

Be Happy!  Be Well!  Be Positive!
Blessings to you.

Chris

 

Once you realize that life is eternal,
That our souls our eternal,
That we return to light and physical over and over;

 

We then lose all our distress
We then lose all our fear of dying.  For there truly is no end.

 

Imaginary Friends

This story from

Calvin and Hobbes:
The way we see Calvin and Hobbes brought back a memory of my imaginary friend.

 

Image from:
Flickr
Calvin.Hobbes

We all have imaginary friends growing up.  Mine was Jim.  He was my friend in real life as well.  Living with my grandparents at 18 Graham Terrace in Lisbon, Connecticut as I’ve said here before couldn’t have provided  me with a better childhood.  My maternal grandparents were amazing people and they will always have a special place in my life.

 

Jim lived next door to me for awhile on Blissville RD in Lisbon.  I recall one particular morning when I stayed with my grandparents, My grandfather came into the kitchen and sat in his customary chair to start eating breakfast, I cried out:
Get up, Gramp!
Get up!

 

He looked at me quizzically and I said:
You’re sitting on Jimmy.

 

My grandmother turned to see what the commotion was and when she saw my grandfather sitting at his usual spot, she laughed and said don’t you know Jimmy sits there, Hoffy?  That’s what she called my grandfather,  short for Hoffman, his last name.  Everyone called him Hoffy.

 

Who were your imaginary friends?

 

Be Happy!  Be Well!  Be Positive!
Blessings to you.

Chris

 

Once you realize that life is eternal,
That our souls our eternal,
That we return to light and physical over and over;

 

We then lose all our distress
We then lose all our fear of dying.  For there truly is no end.

 

Give Your Children Wings

Parents can’t choose the mates of their children or the behavior of their children. You actually can’t choose anything for your children without disempowering them.

 

Abraham-Hicks

 

Your family of origin, your genetic family ALWAYS has the best of intentions for you when they attempt to guide you.  However, more often than not their guidance pulls you away from your heart, from your true reason for incarnating.  Your genetic family has to learn to let go.  They have to let you do what is best for you.  As I’ve maintained here at Wisdom and Life from this blog’s inception:
EVERYONE eventually finds their way if you let them be.

 

Image from:
Pixabay
wings

 

Look it at this way:
What if someone attempted to tell you as an adult what they think you should be doing and pushed you in a direction you knew wasn’t right for you?

 

What if someone told you No!  You can’t be with him or her when you were of an age where you could clearly decide for yourself?

 

Now I understand that children need guidance.  I’m not condoning letting them run wild.  What I am saying is this:
Give them the freedom they need to make their own way.  If they have a desire to pursue something that you feel is a mistake, stand back and let them go.  And remember:
Sometimes, you may be influencing your child to do something for financial gain because you’re concerned for their future.  My belief is just the opposite.  You should be influencing your children to be happy, to be joyful.

 

Isn’t it more appropriate to love what you’re doing and make a little less money than be making money hand over fist and be miserable?  And missing out on all life has to offer?

 

Disempower
What a powerful word to use here.  By attempting to choose the life for your children, that’s EXACTLY what you are doing:
Disempowering them.

 

Children need to learn from their challenges and by not letting them make errors in judgement, by shielding them, you are in the end doing them a disservice.  And they know better than you do what they want to do.  If they are brought up in a family where they feel intimidated to speak their mind, they won’t.  And they will wind up letting someone else make their decisions for them, thus disempowering them yet again.  Parents need to step away and let their children fly.  It’s truly the only way our children will make their way in the world.

 

If you attempt to tell your children who they can be intimate with and who they can’t, you’ll also run the same risk of alienating them.  Is that what you really want?  Love happens in many ways and takes many forms.  You can no more tell someone who to love than you can tell them what career to choose.

 

Maybe someone who attempts to guide their children is REALLY trying to live vicariously.  In other words, perhaps what the parents are guiding their children toward is something they themselves wanted to do when they were young.  The cycle has to break somewhere, otherwise children and adults will continually be unhappy.

Be Happy!  Be Well!  Be Positive!
Blessings to you.

Chris

 

Once you realize that life is eternal,
That our souls our eternal,
That we return to light and physical over and over;

 

We then lose all our distress
We then lose all our fear of dying.  For there truly is no end.

Freedom

Seeing as July is ubiquitous with the word freedom in The United States, I’d like to take a few minutes to discuss the word and what it means to me:
Freedom means different things to different people.
Freedom from oppression
Freedom from pain, emotional as well as physical.
Freedom to choose your own priorities.

 

Dictionary.com defines freedom as:
exemption from external control, interference, regulation, etc.

 

The United States, The U.S. Flag and the word freedom generally go hand in hand

Image from:
CJP Photos
USFlag

 

For myself:
Freedom is being able to choose the way I WANT to live my life.
Freedom is being free from negativity.

Freedom is finding joy where I am at the present moment and doing my best to stay in the present moment.

 

 

What is freedom to you?

Be Happy!  Be Well!  Be Positive!
Blessings to you.

Chris

 

Once you realize that life is eternal,
That our souls our eternal,
That we return to light and physical over and over;

 

We then lose all our distress
We then lose all our fear of dying.  For there truly is no end.

 

Are You Plugged In?

While dreaming of a better future today, you may also notice that you feel hopeful. This is a positive sign that you realize these are not mere flights of fancy but plans in the making. Once you can imagine even a few of the infinite possibilities, you may feel encouraged that they seem more within reach than you might have previously thought. Whether or not you have a vision of each and every step to get you to your goal, you can still feel buoyant as you do your best to steer your course while trusting yourself to the tides of the universe today.

 

The DailyOM (Leo)Horoscope
Monday, June 15, 2015

 

Your intuition is ALWAYS working beneath the surface, whether you realize it or not.  When you’re plugged in, when you feel joy, when you know you’re on the right path, your intuition will tell you. Feeling hopeful is a clear sign that you are doing what you’re supposed to be doing.

 

Image from:
Wikimedia
PluggedIn

 

Listen to that bliss.
And listen FOR that bliss.

When you’re plugged in, time will appear to speed up and slow down at the same time.  Time will appear not to exist.  Do you understand why that is?  It is as I said in the column:
Time Doesn’t Exist at Wisdom and Life.

 

It’s because when you’re plugged in, you are tapping into the Divine.  Because you are using the gifts that you incarnated with and when you tap into the spiritual realm, the Divine, there is no need for clocks.  There is no need for time.  You know when you’re tapped in because you get into flow.

 

You should ALWAYS dream of a better future.  Never stay still.  Always be reaching for something greater than you have at the present moment.  That’s how we stay in hope.  For without hope, why go on?

 

It’s why my ambition never falters.
It’s why I’m continually seeking to improve.
Hope is what moves me forward.
Faith is what gets me there.

 

Be Happy!  Be Well!  Be Positive!
Blessings to you.

Chris

 

Once you realize that life is eternal,
That our souls our eternal,
That we return to light and physical over and over;

 

We then lose all our distress
We then lose all our fear of dying.  For there truly is no end.

 

Security Clothes

I’m sure you’ve heard of emotional eating:
When you eat to fill an emotional void within you.

 

A friend of mine recently showed me that while I don’t emotionally eat, I DO wear certain of my favorite sweatshirts or wrap myself in a “security blanket” when I’m NOT feeling right.  I wasn’t aware I did this until it was pointed out.  I’ve said it before that sometimes you can’t see the forest for the trees.  That’s what happened in this case.

 

The image below is a Red Sox Blanket that my friend made for me.  This is my so called security blanket.
RedSoxBlanket

We all have rituals we perform to help us feel secure.  We may not be aware of them until they are pointed out to us by those who spend time with us.  What do you do do give yourself refuge, to provide emotional sanctuary, to help you cope when you are feeling less than positive?

 

Do you emotionally eat?
Do you wrap yourself in security clothing?
Do you reach out to a trusted friend?

 

Or do you do all of these?

 

Be Happy!  Be Well!  Be Positive!
Blessings to you.

Chris

 

Once you realize that life is eternal,
That our souls our eternal,
That we return to light and physical over and over;

 

We then lose all our distress
We then lose all our fear of dying.  For there truly is no end.

 

The Process of Pivoting

Anytime you feel negative emotion, stop and say: Something is important here; otherwise, I would not be feeling this negative emotion. What is it that I want? And then simply turn your attention to what you do want. . . . In the moment you turn your attention to what you want, the negative attraction will stop; and in the moment the negative attraction stops, the positive attraction will begin. And—in that moment—your feeling will change from not feeling good to feeling good. That is the Process of Pivoting.

 

Abraham Hicks

 

As a follow up to my 2010 column, Pivoting, In that column I spoke about changing your emotional outlook, by changing the way you think.  In today’s column, let’s look at pivoting differently:
What happens when you feel a negative emotion?
How do you release that emotion?

 

Image from:
Wikipedia
HotCoal

Do you lash out at the most convenient target?  The weakest target?  That does nothing but hurt that target.  It may create a temporary fix in you. However you’re REALLY only hurting yourself when you lash out.  Instead of excoriating someone, why not do what Abraham Hicks says:
Stop and say: Something is important here; otherwise, I would not be feeling this negative emotion. What is it that I want? And then simply turn your attention to what you do want.

 

This MIGHT be a challenge when you initiate the process, however if you continue with this technique, it will become second nature and eventually, you’ll discover that you’re not even thinking about thinking.

 

–The way I see life,
–The way I live my life,
–The way I’ve ALWAYS attempted to live my life:

–is doing my best to be nice.
–is doing my best to get along.

 

–I don’t hold onto anger.
I drop that hot piece of coal.

 

I understand that lashing out,
I understand that getting angry only hurts me.  And I pity those who haven’t reached that conclusion yet.

 

When we finally understand that lashing out at others only hurts ourselves and those around us, our lives will be richly blessed, because knowing that will change our ENTIRE life.  Knowing that will change our behavior and thus will alter our entire dynamic.

 

Are you blessed?

 

Be Happy!  Be Well!  Be Positive!
Blessings to you.

Chris

 

Once you realize that life is eternal,
That our souls our eternal,
That we return to light and physical over and over;

 

We then lose all our distress
We then lose all our fear of dying.  For there truly is no end.

Alignment With Source

I’m so excited with what’s starting to happen in my life at the moment.  All the effort I’ve put into everything I’m doing is beginning to bear fruit:
All the writing and sharing on social media.
All the photography I’ve been sharing.
All the efforts I’ve put into my social business.

 

is being recognized by people.
The stars are aligning.

 

I can feel something is sprouting.  I’ve tended my life garden and I’m just now starting to see that flower push its way up through the dirt.

 

Image from:
Wikipedia
Sprout

 

I’ve been sharing that I’m writing a book on death and dying, combining columns from Wisdom and Life and my own personal belief system.  I already found someone who wants to review it for possible publication.

 

Another friend recently contacted me about combining my talents and helping him grow his business.  He’s been following what I’ve been doing and he thinks we’d be a good match.

 

When I reach for something.
When I put my mind to it.

When I put all of my effort into creating the abundance I so desire, success can’t help but find me.  It’s why I never listen to the naysayers.  It’s why I ignored everyone who asked me:
How are you planning on making a living doing THAT?

 

I understand it was said simply out of fear.

But just like I KNEW I would be hired at The Scranton Library in Madison, Connecticut, I ALWAYS knew I would eventually find my success with everything I’m doing on the side.

 

I have something that many do not:
The Gift of Perseverance!

 

When someone tells me no, I say yes!
Everything in my life is finally in alignment with source.
Everything in my life is happening exactly on schedule.

 

And it is simply because I never gave up.  I never shrunk away from doing what I KNEW was my Divine Gift.  You do understand that we all are given gifts when we incarnate, don’t you?  It’s up to us to rediscover those gifts as we go through life.  It’s those people who:
A) Ignore them and chase financial abundance.
B) Listen to others and follow another’s dream for them

 

who eventually suffer.  It becomes an echo.  It becomes a ricochet.  Those who aren’t happy with their life choices do their best to change the cycle but because they don’t know how to change it, because they don’t know how to be happy, they don’t have the tools to help someone else.  The ONLY way to stop the ricochet is to NOT listen to the echo.

 

Do your own thing!

And don’t let the fear creep in.  If you’ve found your gift then you will eventually find success.

 

I can’t wait to see what happens next.
I can’t wait to see what’s around the next corner.

 

Be Happy!  Be Well!  Be Positive!
Blessings to you.

Chris

 

Once you realize that life is eternal,
That our souls our eternal,
That we return to light and physical over and over;

 

We then lose all our distress
We then lose all our fear of dying.  For there truly is no end.

Imagining Our Success

Leverage your time more by spending a little more time every day imagining and a lot less time every day doing. Do a little more imagining and a little more less doing. Until eventually most of what’s happening is happening in the cool, calm, anticipatory state. Just imagine yourself into the successes, and watch what happens. Imagine a little more and act a little less.

 

Abraham-Hicks

 

Success is personal.  How we view it.  How we get there.  What it takes to attain it.  First we have to believe it is within our grasp.  How do we do that?  I believe Abraham-Hicks has it right:
We first have to imagine it.
We have to tell ourselves we are a success.  And we must believe it!
We must tell others we are successful even if we may not feel it.

 

Image from:
CJP Photos
MercyTree

 

Because success means different things to different people, we aren’t exaggerating.  If we imagine our success, if we think we are accomplished, our lives will reflect it in what we see.  If we tell others we are accomplished, they will see it, for people only see believe what they see.

 

Stop downplaying your accomplishments
Stop featuring your failures.

 

Start imagining the riches that are already in your life.
Start focusing on the advancements you’ve made.

 

The other important thing you need for success, for an accomplished life is the right people in your life.  You must surround yourself with like minded people.  People who recognize your fortune, who recognize your accomplishments.  People who are successful in their own lives.  If you want to know success then you have to see it in action.  Find a group of like minded individuals.  Whether it be artists, writers, musicians.  Whatever talent you have, become involved with the group.  And when you surround yourself with this group, you’ll naturally soak up the positive energy osmosis like.

 

Success, accomplishment, advancement is contagious.  And once you understand that, once you see your success take root, you’ll start seeing it in others as well.  That’s why it is so important to find a circle of friends who are accomplished.  You start to feed off each other.  You become a tree, with each branch feeding off the main trunk.  Without the trunk there would be no branches and without the branches there would be no trunk.  As I’ve always maintained at Wisdom and Life, everything is symbiotic.  EVERYTHING is connected.  Our very connectedness breeds success just as much as our individual efforts.

 

You MUST start by first imagining your success before you can see it come to fruition.  If you can see it, if you can imagine it before it blooms then you are already accomplished.  remember:
–Surround yourself with successful people.
–Imagine your success first
–Focus on the advancements you’ve already made.

 

If you can do that, your trunk will produce many branches.

 

Be Happy!  Be Well!  Be Positive!
Blessings to you.

Chris

 

Once you realize that life is eternal,
That our souls our eternal,
That we return to light and physical over and over;

 

We then lose all our distress
We then lose all our fear of dying.  For there truly is no end.

 

 

Is Respect A Lost Art?

My friend, Karen recently posted something  on Facebook that intrigued me:
I’m trying really hard to understand why some people don’t understand the meaning of respect or just good old fashioned courtesy. Maybe I’m asking or expecting too much.

 

Image from:
Pixabay
Respect

 

I’ve had a similar conversation with another friend of mine.  We have agreed that there has been a general decline in respect.  As I commented on Karen’s post:
I think we were raised at a different time. And some of us were taught to treat others like we want to be treated. Unfortunately not everyone shares that belief.

 

All we can do, Karen is continue to live our lives the way we were taught. The people who understand will ALWAYS be in our lives. The ones who don’t don’t matter anyway.  

 

One of my favorite ex high school teachers, is a frequent library user.  After he retired, he subbed for awhile and he would come in and visit with me at the library.  Some of what he said went on with the classes he subbed for turned me red.  Openly swearing at those in authority, refusing to listen to teachers, continuing to do what they’d been told to stop doing.  I can’t imagine not respecting those in authority.  Not for fear of retribution, simply because I wasn’t raised any other way.  I’m not sure who should be held responsible because at some point, children and young adults eventually have to assume accountability for themselves.

 

I sometimes find myself jokingly saying:
Kids these days.

 

I’ve said as much to that ex teacher a few times, attempting to lighten the mood.  But it isn’t just kids who don’t understand respect.  Even some adults have a challenging time understanding common courtesy as can be seen from my friend, Karen’s statement on Facebook.

 

I seldom tread into the political realm because it is fraught with trap doors and someone will find something to be angry with.  However even in politics, things have become us against them.  There is no respect shown to either side.  It’s all about me, me, me.  What’s in it for me?

 

I have a friend who has her own business and she sees the same thing.  People not treating her with the respect she deserves.  She’s become discriminating when it comes to picking up new clients.  She can afford to do so now.  It’s a shame that there are some of us see a lack of respect.  Even in my own fledgling social media business, I’ve seen it.  Not so much with my own clients because I’m able to choose the people I associate with.  This is not my main source of creating abundance.  When I’m out with my clients I’ve seen others not treated with the respect they’ve earned.  Is this an epidemic that is only going to grow exponentially, or can we find a way to curb this?  I’m afraid to know the answer.

 

 

There is always going to be those who show a lack of respect.  What are some of the steps we can take to ensure we aren’t hurt by those who attempt to disrespect us?

 

Be Happy!  Be Well!  Be Positive!
Blessings to you.

Chris

 

Once you realize that life is eternal,
That our souls our eternal,
That we return to light and physical over and over;

 

We then lose all our distress
We then lose all our fear of dying.  For there truly is no end.

 

 

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