Your Happiness Depends On You

Tell everyone you know: “My happiness depends on me, so you’re off the hook.” And then demonstrate it. Be happy, no matter what they’re doing. Practice feeling good, no matter what. And before you know it, you will not give anyone else responsibility for the way you feel — and then, you’ll love them all. Because the only reason you don’t love them, is because you’re using them as your excuse to not feel good.

 

Abraham Hicks

 

This has been a process.  Taken me many years to comprehend and as with all processes, it is a constant challenge to stay on course.  I run into the wall, however as I’m fond of saying at Wisdom and Life, I’m now more adept at seeing that wall and sometimes, more times than not now, I’m able to walk around the wall.  In the end, Abraham Hicks is correct:
No one can MAKE you feel anything that you don’t allow in.
Smiley

 

When one first starts to change their worldview,
When one first decides to stop letting someone or something affect their vibration, they can struggle because it is new to them.  They won’t know the steps.  They will feel they are doing something wrong.

 

Stop!
You’re NOT doing ANYTHING wrong.  Don’t let that emotional storm in your gut determine what you’re doing is right or wrong.  Your happiness is what’s important.  Don’t let someone or something else determine how you feel.  When someone lashes out at you for something, many times, they are projecting.  It’s something in them that they are dealing with.  If you can realize this, if you can move beyond the hurt they caused and understand that THEY MUST be hurting too, if you can feel empathy instead of anger, if you can reach out in caring and not in reciprocal hurt your life will change.  You’ll no longer carry that anger inside.  You’ll only feel love and peace.

 

That’s a much better way to feel.  Don’t you think?

 

It’s a process.  However, I’d rather be moving in the direction of feeling positive.
Wouldn’t you?

 

Be Happy!  Be Well!  Be Positive!
Blessings to you.

Chris

 

Once you realize that life is eternal,
That our souls our eternal,
That we return to light and physical over and over;

 

We then lose all our distress
We then lose all our fear of dying.  For there truly is no end.

 

Roadmap To The Future

How do you find your future?  It’s as I wrote at Wisdom and Life in April, 2013 with:
The Imagination Process.
You first have to imagine your life as you wish it to be.  The road map to your future is created in your imagination.

 

Image from:
Wikimedia
Road Map

Without a road map to guide you, you’re lost when you travel to a new location.  Your future will ALWAYS be a new location because you don’t know where it is.  That’s where your imagination comes into play.  If you could have anything you want, if you could do anything you want and there were no restrictions, what would you do?

Imagine yourself up on a stage singing.
Imagine yourself in front of a camera acting.
Imagine yourself in front of an easel painting a wooded scene.

 

Whatever it is that you desire, keep your mind’s eye on that prize.  Focus on your want.  Never stop thinking about that prize.  I’m reminded of Einstein’s quote about imagination:
Imagination is more important than knowledge. For knowledge is limited to all we now know and understand, while imagination embraces the entire world, and all there ever will be to know and understand.

 

Without imagination, nothing that now exists would exist at all.  Imagination is power.  Many truly know what they want.  But they don’t understand that you first have to imagine your success.

 

That’s what I’m doing now.  EVERY waking moment and who knows, probably EVERY sleeping moment, the ONLY thing I keep seeing is myself at my local bookstore signing copies of my soon to be published book.  (Another thing I’m imagining.)  I close my mind’s eye and can see lines down the street and a crowded standing room only area of my local bookstore, listening to me speak about my book.

 

Some may say, but Chris this is just a pipe dream.  To them, I smile.  Thinking:
Just wait.  I’m determined to make this happen.  Just like I was determined to get the job at my local library.  If you recall (those of you who have been following Wisdom and Life since its inception) I had people ask me what I was going to do with a Library Science degree when I returned to school.  My response?
I’m going to get hired at The Scranton Library in Madison.

 

No one believed it.  Well that’s where I’m working now.  It’s all imagination and determination.

 

It starts with imagining your success first.  However imagination can only get you so far.  You have to continue focusing on that imagination.  You have to follow that road map.  Nothing will happen unless you are determined to follow your imagination.  Don’t let anyone divert you.  If you truly know what you want, if you truly love what you are doing, then follow that bliss.  Follow that road map.  Keep chasing your imagination.

 

What are you imagining?

 

Remember:
Your imagination is your road map to your future!

 

Be Happy!  Be Well!  Be Positive!
Blessings to you.

Chris

 

Once you realize that life is eternal,
That our souls our eternal,
That we return to light and physical over and over;

 

We then lose all our distress
We then lose all our fear of dying.  For there truly is no end.

 

Stay In Your Vibration

Because others cannot vibrate in your experience, they cannot affect the outcome of your experience. They can hold their opinions, but unless their opinion affects your opinion, their opinion matters not at all. A million people could be pushing against you, and it would not negatively affect you unless you push back. They are affecting what happens in their experience. They are affecting their point of attraction—but it does not affect you unless you push against them.

 

Abraham Hicks

 

I’m usually very adept at putting Abraham Hicks motivations into action for myself.  However we all have places where we can improve.  My own is in this realm.  While I understand intellectually that we all vibrate at different levels and in order for something or someone does to get through we have to lower our vibration to their place, it is easier said than done for me to stay at a higher vibration when influenced by negativity.  This is something I constantly need to work on, something I constantly need to improve about myself.  Last week, I mentioned about being sensitive sometimes to my detriment. This is where that thought continually crops up from.  Do I let circumstances and hurt affect me in a way that is harmful to my own psyche?  I know when someone says something or does something hurtful to me, I tend to let it fester.  I used to not stand up and say:
No.  I’m an adult now and I don’t expect to be treated like a child anymore.  This is NOT going to happen anymore.

 

Image from:
Pixabay
vibration

I’ve become strong enough now emotionally that I CAN stand up and say this.  My heart still flutters when I stand up for myself, but I understand that unless I say something, the negativity will continue eating its way through me.  And the situation won’t get any better because it won’t change.  Most of the time I simply walk away and that feels better too.  That way I’m not feeding the negative energy.  I’m not giving it what it needs.  I like the part of the above statement:
They are affecting what happens in their experience. They are affecting their point of attraction.

 

I see that as truth.  And I also understand that what happens within the person who throws out negativity is hurt and angry themselves and they have to rid themselves of that negative energy.  They haven’t yet reached a place in their lives where they understand that they are only hurting themselves in the long run.

 

See how smart I am now?  Well after the fact, well after the outburst I can clearly see the challenges.  But when someone is in the moment of emotional negativity, it is a COMPLETELY different situation.  What we have to do however, is when we are in that moment, remember everything we know about why this is happening.  If we can do that, we can remain in that higher vibrational plane.  We are safer there; those of us who have reached that place.  How do you feel?  Those of you at that higher vibration?

–Happy?
–Positive?

 

Isn’t that where you want to stay?  Isn’t that where you want to bring everyone who is in turmoil?  The best way to show people the way is NOT to let the negativity in.

 

The next time someone does or says something hurtful, smile at them.  Give them a hug.  And stand back and watch their reaction.  I bet they won’t know what to do.  Stay at your high vibration.  Don’t come down to theirs.

 

Be Happy!  Be Well!  Be Positive!
Blessings to you.

Chris

 

Once you realize that life is eternal,
That our souls our eternal,
That we return to light and physical over and over;

 

We then lose all our distress
We then lose all our fear of dying.  For there truly is no end.

 

You Can’t Go Back

Can a place really mold who you are?  I believe so.  So much of who I am is because of the time I spent in Lisbon, Connecticut.  I’ve been thinking recently about my time growing up in Lisbon, Connecticut on Graham Terrace, probably because my Bestest has been mentioning how fortunate I was to have had that experience.
ArrowQuestion

I’ve written here many times about growing up in Lisbon.  It was my safe place, my security zone.  My best friend lived around the corner, there was that ubiquitous fishing hole down the street, my maternal grandparents (especially, my grandfather) made a huge impact on my life.  My grandfather was the male role model I experienced growing up.  As I may have mentioned here previously, my grandfather taught me to fish.  He gave me me my photography obsession, buying me my first camera for my tenth birthday.  He was my confidant.  He taught me to respect people and be sensitive to others, putting others first.

 

The time I spent in Lisbon became so special that after I graduated from high school, I returned to attend college there for two years.  I didn’t have the same experience and I now understand why.  It’s because as I tell my Bestest all the time:
Life is about moving forward, not going back.  You can’t go back!

 

My grandfather was a sensitive soul, very emotional, very loving, quick to forgive, and extremely demonstrative.  I learned all of these traits from him.  You know that old saying:
Children learn what they live.

 

Because my grandfather was the primary male role model in my life, I naturally absorbed his personality.  Like him, I’m quick to forgive.  I’m extremely sensitive.  Sometimes I wonder if I’m too sensitive, if I take the emotional hurt I receive too deeply.  I know, however that it’s who I am and I’m comfortable with it.  I can’t change who I am and I wouldn’t want to.

–I CAN take the hurt I receive a little too deeply.
— I’m more aware of others and I feel their pain more than I feel my own.
–I’m more empathic than many of my friends.
–I have a greater feeling for what may happen in the future.

 

I’m very demonstrative, loving, quick to hug someone if they need it, quick to show my emotions.  Sometimes, maybe too quick to become emotional, sometimes maybe to my detriment.  However, as I said above, I can’t change that about myself.  Nor would I want to.

 

My Bestest has told me countless times how fortunate I am to have had my grandfather in my life.  She has said he did an amazing job helping me become the person I am.  She should know seeing as I spend so much time with her.  I wish sometimes now that I’m writing this column that she would have come into my life sooner so my maternal grandparents could have known her as I do.  I think they would become fast friends as I have done with her.  I’ve been so fortunate in my life to have had so many good people come into my experience:
My maternal grandparents.
My Aunt Bet, My Fairy Godmother.  

See now?  Aunt Bet would have been someone else I would dearly have loved for my Bestest to have met.  Because my Maternal Grandparents and my Aunt Bet played such significant roles in my life I would have loved for them to have met each other.  They each made such a huge impact on my life I’d love to see them all interact with each other.  I’d love to be a fly on the wall listening to their conversations.

 

My best friend, Joe in Lisbon while growing up.
My friends, Jason, Julie and Tim.
My Bestest now.

 

I miss my grandparents more now than I have in the past, only because I’ve been thinking more about them, because when I’m with my Bestest I can’t help but think about what it would be like if they had met.  Oh, the stories they could have told each other:

My grandparents regaling her with the distant past.
Her telling my grandparents how much they influenced me growing up.  I can almost close my eyes and hear the stories going back and forth.

 

However, I should be grateful (and I am) that I’ve been able to have so many good people in my life.  And I understand that people come and go into our lives for specific reasons:
My friend, Jason came along when my friend, Joe left.  A door closed (Joe) and a window opened (Jason.)

 

I see these things more clearly now that I’m in this paradigm.  I understand this isn’t possible but it is nice to fantasize about.  Do you have someone important in your own life that you wish you have met family who have since transitioned?

 

Be Happy!  Be Well!  Be Positive!
Blessings to you.

Chris

 

Once you realize that life is eternal,
That our souls our eternal,
That we return to light and physical over and over;

 

We then lose all our distress
We then lose all our fear of dying.  For there truly is no end.

 

Imaginary Friends

This story from

Calvin and Hobbes:
The way we see Calvin and Hobbes brought back a memory of my imaginary friend.

 

Image from:
Flickr
Calvin.Hobbes

We all have imaginary friends growing up.  Mine was Jim.  He was my friend in real life as well.  Living with my grandparents at 18 Graham Terrace in Lisbon, Connecticut as I’ve said here before couldn’t have provided  me with a better childhood.  My maternal grandparents were amazing people and they will always have a special place in my life.

 

Jim lived next door to me for awhile on Blissville RD in Lisbon.  I recall one particular morning when I stayed with my grandparents, My grandfather came into the kitchen and sat in his customary chair to start eating breakfast, I cried out:
Get up, Gramp!
Get up!

 

He looked at me quizzically and I said:
You’re sitting on Jimmy.

 

My grandmother turned to see what the commotion was and when she saw my grandfather sitting at his usual spot, she laughed and said don’t you know Jimmy sits there, Hoffy?  That’s what she called my grandfather,  short for Hoffman, his last name.  Everyone called him Hoffy.

 

Who were your imaginary friends?

 

Be Happy!  Be Well!  Be Positive!
Blessings to you.

Chris

 

Once you realize that life is eternal,
That our souls our eternal,
That we return to light and physical over and over;

 

We then lose all our distress
We then lose all our fear of dying.  For there truly is no end.

 

Give Your Children Wings

Parents can’t choose the mates of their children or the behavior of their children. You actually can’t choose anything for your children without disempowering them.

 

Abraham-Hicks

 

Your family of origin, your genetic family ALWAYS has the best of intentions for you when they attempt to guide you.  However, more often than not their guidance pulls you away from your heart, from your true reason for incarnating.  Your genetic family has to learn to let go.  They have to let you do what is best for you.  As I’ve maintained here at Wisdom and Life from this blog’s inception:
EVERYONE eventually finds their way if you let them be.

 

Image from:
Pixabay
wings

 

Look it at this way:
What if someone attempted to tell you as an adult what they think you should be doing and pushed you in a direction you knew wasn’t right for you?

 

What if someone told you No!  You can’t be with him or her when you were of an age where you could clearly decide for yourself?

 

Now I understand that children need guidance.  I’m not condoning letting them run wild.  What I am saying is this:
Give them the freedom they need to make their own way.  If they have a desire to pursue something that you feel is a mistake, stand back and let them go.  And remember:
Sometimes, you may be influencing your child to do something for financial gain because you’re concerned for their future.  My belief is just the opposite.  You should be influencing your children to be happy, to be joyful.

 

Isn’t it more appropriate to love what you’re doing and make a little less money than be making money hand over fist and be miserable?  And missing out on all life has to offer?

 

Disempower
What a powerful word to use here.  By attempting to choose the life for your children, that’s EXACTLY what you are doing:
Disempowering them.

 

Children need to learn from their challenges and by not letting them make errors in judgement, by shielding them, you are in the end doing them a disservice.  And they know better than you do what they want to do.  If they are brought up in a family where they feel intimidated to speak their mind, they won’t.  And they will wind up letting someone else make their decisions for them, thus disempowering them yet again.  Parents need to step away and let their children fly.  It’s truly the only way our children will make their way in the world.

 

If you attempt to tell your children who they can be intimate with and who they can’t, you’ll also run the same risk of alienating them.  Is that what you really want?  Love happens in many ways and takes many forms.  You can no more tell someone who to love than you can tell them what career to choose.

 

Maybe someone who attempts to guide their children is REALLY trying to live vicariously.  In other words, perhaps what the parents are guiding their children toward is something they themselves wanted to do when they were young.  The cycle has to break somewhere, otherwise children and adults will continually be unhappy.

Be Happy!  Be Well!  Be Positive!
Blessings to you.

Chris

 

Once you realize that life is eternal,
That our souls our eternal,
That we return to light and physical over and over;

 

We then lose all our distress
We then lose all our fear of dying.  For there truly is no end.

Freedom

Seeing as July is ubiquitous with the word freedom in The United States, I’d like to take a few minutes to discuss the word and what it means to me:
Freedom means different things to different people.
Freedom from oppression
Freedom from pain, emotional as well as physical.
Freedom to choose your own priorities.

 

Dictionary.com defines freedom as:
exemption from external control, interference, regulation, etc.

 

The United States, The U.S. Flag and the word freedom generally go hand in hand

Image from:
CJP Photos
USFlag

 

For myself:
Freedom is being able to choose the way I WANT to live my life.
Freedom is being free from negativity.

Freedom is finding joy where I am at the present moment and doing my best to stay in the present moment.

 

 

What is freedom to you?

Be Happy!  Be Well!  Be Positive!
Blessings to you.

Chris

 

Once you realize that life is eternal,
That our souls our eternal,
That we return to light and physical over and over;

 

We then lose all our distress
We then lose all our fear of dying.  For there truly is no end.

 

Are You Plugged In?

While dreaming of a better future today, you may also notice that you feel hopeful. This is a positive sign that you realize these are not mere flights of fancy but plans in the making. Once you can imagine even a few of the infinite possibilities, you may feel encouraged that they seem more within reach than you might have previously thought. Whether or not you have a vision of each and every step to get you to your goal, you can still feel buoyant as you do your best to steer your course while trusting yourself to the tides of the universe today.

 

The DailyOM (Leo)Horoscope
Monday, June 15, 2015

 

Your intuition is ALWAYS working beneath the surface, whether you realize it or not.  When you’re plugged in, when you feel joy, when you know you’re on the right path, your intuition will tell you. Feeling hopeful is a clear sign that you are doing what you’re supposed to be doing.

 

Image from:
Wikimedia
PluggedIn

 

Listen to that bliss.
And listen FOR that bliss.

When you’re plugged in, time will appear to speed up and slow down at the same time.  Time will appear not to exist.  Do you understand why that is?  It is as I said in the column:
Time Doesn’t Exist at Wisdom and Life.

 

It’s because when you’re plugged in, you are tapping into the Divine.  Because you are using the gifts that you incarnated with and when you tap into the spiritual realm, the Divine, there is no need for clocks.  There is no need for time.  You know when you’re tapped in because you get into flow.

 

You should ALWAYS dream of a better future.  Never stay still.  Always be reaching for something greater than you have at the present moment.  That’s how we stay in hope.  For without hope, why go on?

 

It’s why my ambition never falters.
It’s why I’m continually seeking to improve.
Hope is what moves me forward.
Faith is what gets me there.

 

Be Happy!  Be Well!  Be Positive!
Blessings to you.

Chris

 

Once you realize that life is eternal,
That our souls our eternal,
That we return to light and physical over and over;

 

We then lose all our distress
We then lose all our fear of dying.  For there truly is no end.

 

Security Clothes

I’m sure you’ve heard of emotional eating:
When you eat to fill an emotional void within you.

 

A friend of mine recently showed me that while I don’t emotionally eat, I DO wear certain of my favorite sweatshirts or wrap myself in a “security blanket” when I’m NOT feeling right.  I wasn’t aware I did this until it was pointed out.  I’ve said it before that sometimes you can’t see the forest for the trees.  That’s what happened in this case.

 

The image below is a Red Sox Blanket that my friend made for me.  This is my so called security blanket.
RedSoxBlanket

We all have rituals we perform to help us feel secure.  We may not be aware of them until they are pointed out to us by those who spend time with us.  What do you do do give yourself refuge, to provide emotional sanctuary, to help you cope when you are feeling less than positive?

 

Do you emotionally eat?
Do you wrap yourself in security clothing?
Do you reach out to a trusted friend?

 

Or do you do all of these?

 

Be Happy!  Be Well!  Be Positive!
Blessings to you.

Chris

 

Once you realize that life is eternal,
That our souls our eternal,
That we return to light and physical over and over;

 

We then lose all our distress
We then lose all our fear of dying.  For there truly is no end.

 

The Process of Pivoting

Anytime you feel negative emotion, stop and say: Something is important here; otherwise, I would not be feeling this negative emotion. What is it that I want? And then simply turn your attention to what you do want. . . . In the moment you turn your attention to what you want, the negative attraction will stop; and in the moment the negative attraction stops, the positive attraction will begin. And—in that moment—your feeling will change from not feeling good to feeling good. That is the Process of Pivoting.

 

Abraham Hicks

 

As a follow up to my 2010 column, Pivoting, In that column I spoke about changing your emotional outlook, by changing the way you think.  In today’s column, let’s look at pivoting differently:
What happens when you feel a negative emotion?
How do you release that emotion?

 

Image from:
Wikipedia
HotCoal

Do you lash out at the most convenient target?  The weakest target?  That does nothing but hurt that target.  It may create a temporary fix in you. However you’re REALLY only hurting yourself when you lash out.  Instead of excoriating someone, why not do what Abraham Hicks says:
Stop and say: Something is important here; otherwise, I would not be feeling this negative emotion. What is it that I want? And then simply turn your attention to what you do want.

 

This MIGHT be a challenge when you initiate the process, however if you continue with this technique, it will become second nature and eventually, you’ll discover that you’re not even thinking about thinking.

 

–The way I see life,
–The way I live my life,
–The way I’ve ALWAYS attempted to live my life:

–is doing my best to be nice.
–is doing my best to get along.

 

–I don’t hold onto anger.
I drop that hot piece of coal.

 

I understand that lashing out,
I understand that getting angry only hurts me.  And I pity those who haven’t reached that conclusion yet.

 

When we finally understand that lashing out at others only hurts ourselves and those around us, our lives will be richly blessed, because knowing that will change our ENTIRE life.  Knowing that will change our behavior and thus will alter our entire dynamic.

 

Are you blessed?

 

Be Happy!  Be Well!  Be Positive!
Blessings to you.

Chris

 

Once you realize that life is eternal,
That our souls our eternal,
That we return to light and physical over and over;

 

We then lose all our distress
We then lose all our fear of dying.  For there truly is no end.

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