Asking for Help

I’ve been without my car for a week now. It’s in hospital being repaired. Thankfully I live within walking distance of just about anywhere downtown.  Sometimes I need to go beyond downtown.  Take Friday for example:
I wound up having to see a doctor outside of walking distance.  I was fortunate to have a friend right downtown and he offered to bring me to my doctor just five miles down the road and even return to bring me back.

 

Image from:
Pixabay
In that case I didn’t find it difficult to ask, because I didn’t have to ask.  I know you may think that’s splitting hairs.  I have a more difficult time being the one to ask for help. I’d rather do everything on my own. I don’t like feeling like a burden to anyone. After having lived alone for much of the past twenty years I’ve become adept at doing everything on my own.

 

If this car challenge had happened in the middle of spring or summer I would have been perfectly capable of surviving. Alas with darkness falling a little after 4pm  it makes it quite challenging to walk home after work. I like walking home in the dark even less than I like asking for a ride.  That’s where my difficulty lies. The fact that I have to ask for a ride home after having my car for so long is not easy for me.  Even before I drove I found it uncomfortable to rely on others.

 

Just out of curiosity, I Googled:
INFP asking for help

After realizing that I AM an INFP. And I found a whole host of information.  Seems that that type certainly has a hard time asking for help when they need it. A couple of sites I stumbled across suggested that when an INFP tells a friend they were in trouble previously their friend gets upset that they didn’t ask for help.

 

This sounds JUST LIKE ME!  I’ve had that exact thing happen time and again. I’d rather offer help than ask for it.  It’s something I have to constantly work on.  All my friends tell me so.  Is that an INFP trait?

 

I know other people have this same issue.  I just find it fascinating that so many INFPs have this in their realm.

 

Be Happy!  Be Well!  Be Positive!
Blessings to you.

Chris

Once you realize that life is eternal,
That our souls our eternal,
That we return to light and physical over and over;

We then lose all our distress
We then lose all our fear of dying.  For there truly is no end.

 

Ferdinand the Bull

My newest category at Wisdom and Life:
INFP is another topic I’ve started to discuss  INFP is on the Myers Briggs testing spectrum.  If you haven’t taken the test, it will reveal your personality as long as you are honest about the responses.  You can take the test here:
16 Personalities

 

I’ve mentioned Ferdinand The Bull at Wisdom and Life previously.

I’ve always loved the book and didn’t realize it until I recently understood my personality type connects on a completely different level with Ferdinand.  Ferdinand is definitely an INFP on the Myers Briggs spectrum. I now read Ferdinand in a completely different way.  I discovered that Ferdinand is an INFP after reading the book again in the last week.  Apparently, others feel the same way as can be seen from this Google search:
Ferdinand The Bull and INFP

 

After taking the Myers Briggs test and getting my results, I clearly see that I am an INFP.

 

Be Happy!  Be Well!  Be Positive!
Blessings to you.

Chris

Once you realize that life is eternal,
That our souls our eternal,
That we return to light and physical over and over;

We then lose all our distress
We then lose all our fear of dying.  For there truly is no end.

 

INFPs in Social Stiuations

 

Once in awhile at Wisdom and Life, I’ll be writing about the Myers Briggs Personality test and the category that I fall into

 

 

The INFP personality from Myers Briggs has benefits and challenges for themselves.  Let’s look at one trait that everyone has to deal with regardless of your personality type:
Social Situations and Relationships:

 

 

Image from:
Wikimedia:

Social:

–Do you find it a challenge in large groups?  Are you more comfortable within a small circle of friends?  You might be an INFP?

–Do you open your heart to a select few and even then crave alone time?

–Do you find it easier to help others then ask for help yourself?  You might be an INFP.

 

One of my best friends says that about me.  That I’m more concerned about others then I am about myself.  That I can’t open up about my own issues.  I understand that I do this.  But it’s only because I care more about my friends wellbeing.  With help, I’m getting better at expressing my own challenges.  After seeing these traits are indicative of the INFP personality, I’m more convinced than ever that I fall into that category.

 

–When you go out to a party, do you find yourself hanging back by yourself and not interested in making contact with people?

–Do you feel awkward in a crowd?

–Given a choice between staying home or going out with a bunch of people, do you prefer to stay home?

 

Relationships:

–INFPs can be seen as people who are cold, reserved who would rather be alone then out with a party.  That can be challenging for friends of INFPs.

–As a benefit, if you can crack an INFP’s wall, you’ll find someone who will stand by you sometimes as a detriment to themselves.

–INFPs want to get along with everyone, so much so, that they will avoid conflict also sometimes to their detriment.

–INFPs can sometimes find it difficult to leave a challenging relationship.  I THINK that’s because they feel so loyal to those who are in their inner circle.  Loyalty cuts both ways however.  It can hinder as well as help.

–As in the above, where I wrote that INFPs have difficulty asking for help, because of that, they can be seen as reserved, unwilling to open up even to their closest friends.  I THINK that’s because they are more concerned about their closest friends needs than they are for themselves.

–INFPs don’t stay angry as in the above where I wrote that they avoid conflict.  They do however, remember slights done to them for years.

 

Being an INFP myself, I can relate to EVERY one of these traits.  I imagine anyone in the INFJ/INFP pairing can also relate.  What personality are you?

 

 

Be Happy!  Be Well!  Be Positive!
Blessings to you.

Chris

Once you realize that life is eternal,
That our souls our eternal,
That we return to light and physical over and over;

We then lose all our distress
We then lose all our fear of dying.  For there truly is no end.

 

 

Myers and Briggs Test

Myers Briggs is a personality testing program that places people into sixteen personality categories. What type you fall into depends on the answers you give on the test. If you answer honestly, you’ll see which type you fall into.  You can take one examnple of the test here:
16 Personalities

Image from:
Wikimedia:

 

I’ve taken the test at various points in my life and have always fallen into two types. Either:

INFJ
INFP

 

 

 

As I look back now and after taking the test again within the last month, I now clearly see that I definitely fall into the INFP type.

 

I can relate to so many of both types but many morein the INFP are where I stand.  in the INFP characteristic fit me much better:

–INFPs tend to be introverted, quiet and reserved.

Being in social situations tends to drain their energy and they prefer interacting with a select group of close friends. While they like to be alone, this should not necessarily be confused with shyness. Instead, it simply means that INFPs gain energy from spending time alone. On the other hand, they have to expend energy in social situations.

–INFPs place an emphasis on personal feelings and their decisions are more influenced by these concerns rather than by objective information.
They also dislike conflict and try to avoid it. When conflicts or arguments do arise, they usually focus more on how the conflict makes them feel rather than the actual details of the argument. During arguments, they might seem overly emotional or even irrational. However, they can also be good mediators by helping the people involved in a conflict identify and express their feelings.

–INFPs tend to be very creative, artistic and spiritual. They are often skilled with language, but may prefer to express their thoughts and feelings through writing.
INFPs typically do well in careers where they can express their creativity and vision. While they work well with others, they generally prefer to work alone. Some possible careers that might be a good match for an INFP include:
Artist
Counselor
Graphic Designer
Librarian
Psychologist
Physical Therapist
Social Worker
Writer

The above info is from:
Verywell.com

 

I work in three of the above careers. And EVERYTHING above the careers I can certainly relate too.  

 

There is so much that I relate to with this personality type. The biggest is how I deal with confrontation. The following explanation especially rings true:
They also dislike conflict and try to avoid it. When conflicts or arguments do arise, they usually focus more on how the conflict makes them feel rather than the actual details of the argument. During arguments, they might seem overly emotional or even irrational.

 

I see this happen constantly in my life. Which is why I at all costs do my best to avoid any conflict.
I don’t like how I react.
I don’t have enough self confidence to stand up for myself.
I feel like I’m back to being a child with no experience about how to deal with the challenge that has arisen.

 

Seeing this is a trait that the INFP person exhibits makes me feel a BIT better. Knowing you are not alone and others experience the same traits always creates a safety zone around us.

 

A Myers Briggs personality test is something everyone should take, for their own experience but also to understand where they fit in the world. And answer the questions honestly, not the way you think others see you and not the way you WANT others to see you.  But how you REALLY feel. You may be surprised at the results you get.

 

Be Happy!  Be Well!  Be Positive!
Blessings to you.

Chris
Once you realize that life is eternal,
That our souls our eternal,
That we return to light and physical over and over;

We then lose all our distress
We then lose all our fear of dying.  For there truly is no end.